Don't Grope The Lion
by Michiyami
Summary: For Chinese New Year, Sasuke and Naruto are partners for the lion dancing. However, they decide to blend in their own way of celebrating another year together. SasuNaru. Minor KakaIru.


This is a little crack fic written for Chinese New Year. For those who don't know, Chinese New Year occurs according to the Lunar Calendar, and hence is on a different day every year. This year it falls on the 26th of January. Traditionally, there are people dressed in lion and dragon costumes that perform at this event.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone.

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_**Don't Grope The Lion**_

_By Michiyami_

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The cymbals gave another gigantic crash and the drums echoed around them as the lion dancers left the temple and re-entered the large crowds. Sasuke winced slightly as they passed the musicians. Tradition be damned, they were LOUD. A particularly loud clash happened right above his ear and he growled, sure that Sai was behind it.

'_That ass,'_ he thought gratingly, and he could imagine the pale boy hitting them over and over again just to annoy him. From beneath the lion ensemble they were holding, he saw a familiar pair of shoes to the left and kicked them, satisfied when a grunt met his ears and the cymbals ceased for a moment.

He suddenly heard something spitting and crackling from behind and groaned in dismay. He kicked the ankle of the boy in front of him who was holding up the head of the lion costume. The blonde cursed and turned around beneath the material, glaring.

"Why did you kick me bastard!?" he hissed. Hissed, because they were surrounded by people. His blue eyes weren't annoyed at all though. They were sparkling like they always would when their martial arts club got to participate in festivals. Naruto inclined his head slightly in question and his golden, messy hair brushed against the dark material above them. Sasuke took a step forwards, not caring that the lion's body probably looked abnormally short.

"Move quicker usuratonkachi!" he said impatiently. "They're about to light the crackers." Sasuke pushed Naruto forwards just as they lit the crackers. It was like a gun going off right next to his head. Sasuke grimaced, unable to cover his ears because he was holding up the back of the lion.

Naruto scowled at him, his actions hidden by the heavy black fabric that was draped over the two of them. Sasuke was sure he was about to scold him, but they had to finish the ceremony first. So taking advantage of the privacy, he pinched his boyfriends round ass and pointed with one hand to the front. That brought Naruto back to their task with a yelp, and the blonde quickly turned back to face the front, moving the elaborate lion head upwards and sideways in sync to the drums.

Sasuke couldn't help but notice how Naruto's butt swayed with each movement. His eyes followed Naruto's dance as he carried out his own actions. Boy was he glad for multitasking capabilities.

'_It's worth listening to Sai's idiotic music just for this,' _he thought in amusement. He startled when Naruto turned around and gave him a foxy grin.

'_Damn. Caught.'_

Kiba struck up a certain beat on the drums and Sasuke let go of the fabric, allowing it to fall over his back. With both hands, he grabbed Naruto on each side of his waist and lifted him up into the air, making it seem like the lion was pouncing. The movement itself was quickly executed but whilst bending backwards, Naruto somehow found the time to whisper huskily in Sasuke's ear, "Don't let go, teme."

Naruto kicked his legs upwards whilst supported by Sasuke, and the fur decorated pants he and Sasuke wore gave the appearance of the lion's legs. Sasuke took this moment to glance at the crowd that stood around, giving them and the other lion wide berth.

The entire town square was filled and it took all he had to hold in another groan. Sure, he liked being part of the martial arts club and this cultural stuff, but Naruto was the only one that liked the packed festivals they had to go to.

Then again… Kakashi and Iruka's lion looked like it was having a ball. Sasuke rolled his eyes as he glimpsed one of Kakashi's hands fondling Iruka as the other man quickly fought to cover the action with the lion head he was holding.

Iruka and Naruto were both at the front supporting the lion heads while Sasuke and Kakashi supported the tail. Although the lion head was heavier, the person at the back was the one that needed to lift their partner while they performed the necessary tricks in midair.

The drums suddenly began beating short, fast beats and Sasuke quickly performed a few more leg movements before lifting Naruto up again, this time for a longer suspension. He heard the people watching clap and scream in excitement as Naruto twisted his waist so that he was almost vertically upside-down, holding onto the lion head the entire while. Craning his neck backwards, Naruto winked from his position above Sasuke. Never turning down a challenge, Sasuke kissed those soft, pink lips before setting the shorter boy back down.

"Sasuke, that could've been seen by anyone!" Iruka scowled from the side.

"Impatient, aren't we Sasuke," Kakashi drawled lowly as he and Iruka's red and black lion pranced past.

"Shut up," Sasuke shot back. Naruto decided to add his two cents as the two lions aligned. He and Iruka leapt from the ground onto the chairs that were balanced on top of the tables, and their partners quickly followed, landing on the table.

"I saw your hand in Iruka's trousers," Naruto said mischievously over his back. He did a backwards flip off the table and Sasuke had to time his own flip so that the movement appeared fluid. Kakashi landed next to them and Sasuke heard the man's voice:

"Naru-chan, you're just jealous that your seme isn't as _satisfying_."

Sasuke's leg shot to the right but to his disappointment, his swing kick met with empty air as Kakashi anticipated it. He smiled though, as Naruto moved them backwards behind the other lion and pounced onto its back. In other words, Kakashi's back.

"I'm sorry," Naruto ground out as stomped his feet alternatively, "but I recall Iruka telling me that he was quite unhappy about being molested every festival." Kakashi grunted beneath the weight.

"Naruto, stop that," Sasuke muttered suddenly to him.

"What, why!? You're a great seme!"

"I appreciate it dobe, but you're making it look like the lions are humping."

Naruto blanched as he realized that was indeed the case, and he quickly did a retake of the back flip from before. As Sasuke passed him sideways Naruto muttered under his breath, "Me and Kakashi…oh God, did you have to say that?"

Sasuke lifted him again and this time Naruto had to release one hand from the lion's head in order to grab the lettuce hanging from the roof. Sasuke slapped Naruto hard across the ass before sitting the blonde on his shoulders and spinning them around. Naruto gave a muffled yelp and glared pointedly down at him.

"Your ass belongs to me," Sasuke growled upwards. Naruto raised an eyebrow as he threw the shredded lettuce from the lion's mouth and jumped off Sasuke's shoulders. He murmured seductively before waving his hips again.

"Then you'll just have to stake your claim on it."

Then Naruto crouched downwards and his pants slid down ever so slightly, black shirt riding up to reveal luscious, tanned skin. Sasuke gulped then Naruto was up again and laughing silently. Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

'_Oh, it's on.'_

Large crowds, traditional festival and dignity be gone, he had a delicious, beautiful blonde's ass to declare. Naruto was facing the front at this moment in time, but he was sure he felt dark, obsidian eyes burning into his back. He shuddered in anticipation, and the adrenaline from their dancing mixed into his growing desire.

He turned his head slightly and as expected, met with Sasuke's determined, lecherous eyes. The Uchiha's midnight black locks had been messed up slightly by the cloth over their heads, but to Naruto's eyes it only made his lover appear all the more sexier. A smirk crossed Sasuke's pale face. His gaze promised Naruto that his challenge would not go unmet.

A nudge in his side and Kakashi's voice was talking again.

"Sasuke, I bet I could make my uke give before you can."

Sasuke's dancing didn't falter, but his face showed interest. On the other hand, Naruto visibly froze for a full second before he hissed backwards, "Don't you dare, Sasuke!" His voice turned high at the end of the sentence and Sasuke, hearing his name from Naruto's mouth like that…

He grinned, eyes on the prize dancing before him.

"First to leave wins."

Naruto shouted in outrage.

"You prick! You know we can't leave until the team with the dragon gets here! I'll kick your –"

Unfortunately, the beat the musicians created at that moment called for a roll from the lions. Naruto's large, azure eyes widened further as he realized what this meant. Sasuke smiled victoriously. And next thing Naruto knew, Sasuke was on top of him as he made the lion do a deformed backwards roll.

"Argh! No, off! Off!" Naruto screeched as Sasuke straddled his hips. There was confused chatter coming from outside and Sasuke didn't wonder why. The lion probably looked like it was curling in on itself. Naruto's hands clasping the lion head, and the black tail over their bodies was all that hid their affair from the world.

"Noooooo! Sasuke!"

Sasuke took away one hand to skillfully slip beneath Naruto's shirt and ghost across his chest, fondling his nipples and twisting them at the same time as he ground his hips backwards and forwards across Naruto's groin. Naruto mewled helplessly and closed his eyes against the pleasure, sweat running down his neck from the exertion. Sasuke's hand slipped down between Naruto and the ground, groping Naruto's firm cheeks and squeezing. Sasuke's breath was hot against the shell of Naruto's ear.

"Sasuke! Uhh-wah! Sto – stop!"

"You look so hot, Naru," Sasuke whispered, pressing their half-hard erections together. Naruto tried to glare at him but failed miserably, his eyes teary and clouded with lust. "Crying and moaning beneath me in the middle of all these people. Imagine…if we just drop this material."

Kakashi coughed from somewhere nearby. The lion had been curled up for quite some time now and in disappointment, Sasuke hurriedly bit down on Naruto's neck to leave a quick hickey. He drew away with approval at the blaring mark and pushed himself backwards off Naruto, the both of them rolling back into standing positions.

"Sasu-chan," Kakashi said mockingly, "can't you do things with a bit more finesse?" And he whispered something in Iruka's ear, making the man flush bright red. No doubt, the countless porno books were of great help here.

Suddenly, Iruka was screaming something, and the other lion went rushing past their own and away from the crowd. Sasuke stared after them.

'_How did Kakashi _manage _**that**__?!'_

All the little children in the audience were pointing after the fleeing idiots and Naruto clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

"Great, now we only have one lion. The kids aren't going to be happy."

The drum beat became steady and that was the call for them to approach the crowds. It was supposed to be good luck for someone to touch the head of the lion costume, and so they had to do a few passes through the town square.

Unfortunately, 'head' seemed to also include 'back.'

This was the part that Sasuke hated the worst. Most people stuck to just touching the head, but others would sometimes stroke the lion's back and the furry material. Therefore, it meant people touching him, and HIS Naruto. Sure, it might have been pure accident, and more often than not it was teenagers and younger kids who did it. But when a hand settles itself right his behind, directly beneath the fluffy lion tail…Sasuke starts to wonder.

There was one right now, and Sasuke's eyes narrowed dangerously. Naruto chuckled nervously from the front, whispering, "Calm down Sasuke, calm – ah!" Naruto jumped as someone's hand brushed over the lion's back, feeling up his sensitive body. "That better not have been some old man!" he swore.

'_That's __**my**__ property!'_ Sasuke thought in infuriation.

He looked behind himself to make sure the perpetrator was not an innocent kid, before quickly kicking his leg backwards and making the pervert fall into the crowd. It was pure coincidence that the lion they were dressed up as happened to be called the 'fighting' lion. There were so many people though, and he couldn't defend them from everyone. This was their first time performing in such a busy venue, and he could tell from Naruto's whimpering that the blonde was starting to get uncomfortable.

"Where's the stupid dragon team?" Naruto muttered, loud enough for Sasuke to hear but to still go unnoticed by the people outside.

"Shikamaru is probably legging it up here at snail pace," Sasuke told him. Naruto groaned and Sasuke sighed. He extended a hand forwards and brushed his fingers across the back of Naruto's neck, making him shudder from the touch. He leant forwards as much as he dared and blew softly against the skin.

"Come on dobe," he murmured. "Where did all your stamina and excitement go?"

Naruto shook his head slightly and pouted at him. "I just don't like the touching. You'd think they would know they're groping someone underneath the costume." Then he stopped suddenly and Sasuke's moan caught in his throat as his shaft came into contact with Naruto's behind. Naruto looked over his shoulder at his wide eyes and said softly, "I like only _you_ touching me, Sasu."

Naruto really knew how to turn Sasuke on. His eyes sparkled with just the slightest hint of tears at the edges, and his body twisted towards Sasuke in such a vulnerable way that it made him want to throw caution to the winds and do a runner like Iruka and Kakashi. An indenture in the lion coat and a touch on Naruto's ass by someone outside suddenly caught Sasuke's attention and he snarled. He punched the offender through the black cloth, and there was a satisfying 'oomph'.

Naruto smiled cheekily at him, angled cheekbones and whisker marks giving him a feline appearance. For a moment, the shadows offered by their garble gave them the illusion they were all alone.

"Thank you, Sasuke," he purred appreciatively. He was delighted by the pale flush that ran up his handsome boyfriend's face. Then in return, he turned the lion around and rammed the head into the man who was intent on feeling up Sasuke. He tilted his head upwards for a wet kiss from the other boy, murmuring against his lips, "_my_ bastard."

Sasuke pushed hungrily against him, entwining their tongues and muffling his speech.

"And I thought I was possessive."

More crackers were going off somewhere and in relief, they felt the crowd back away from them as the dragon arrived. Sasuke pulled Naruto back up to sitting on his shoulders while Naruto fumbled with a scroll he pulled from his pocket and put through the lion's mouth.

The scroll dropped down, revealing Chinese calligraphy that said 'Good fortune and prosperity!' in glittering gold letters. Clapping echoed loudly through their ears and Naruto said with a smile, "Too bad Iruka and Kakashi had the scrolls for good health and love." He leant down and wrapped an arm around Sasuke, snuggling his head against the Uchiha's hair and splaying soft, gold spikes against pitch black. "I have the feeling I'll need that good health one after tonight," he elicited suggestively.

Sasuke tilted his head backwards and they kissed gently and passionately, their secret love hidden from the outside. Who cares about the dragon that was trying to get past them, or Kiba telling them off in frantic whispers. He had all he wanted right here, and he'd be damned if _his_ desired wishes were taken from him.

"Kakashi can keep the love scroll," Sasuke said to a confused Naruto. He nipped at his lips and Naruto blushed cutely and smiled as he said, "I already love you more than anyone knows." Naruto was melting again. Sasuke and his words always did that. What he didn't know though, was that a single word from him was enough to make Sasuke fall head over heels for him for the rest of their lives and eternity together.

"I love you, too," Naruto whispered gently in his ears. Sasuke's hand squeezed his.

The dragon took over the square now, its long form entwining around them after having given up making them move. A rainbow of colours glimmered from its metallic, sparkling coat, wrapping Naruto and Sasuke in its warmth as they put the lion ensemble on the ground. Hands clasped tightly together, they escaped the entangling dragon and disappeared together into the shifting mass of people. Laughing, smiling, in love.

A large banner blew slightly as they ran past it.

_May you enjoy your eternity together._

Happy Chinese New Year.

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AN:

How'd you find it? I'm sorry if there are some traditional matters that I didn't pull of correctly. Please let me know if there is. I refrained from a lemon – there's only so far I'd yaoi-ise a culturally important festival.

Please leave reviews and any constructive criticism you have. Happy year of the Ox!

Lots of candy and BxB,

Michiyami.


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